What more can I say......

The Three Jewels

The pot, the soil, and the water.

These are the three components that are crucial to the overall growth and development of the plant. The pot is the plants underlying temporary environment. The place where it is to be molded and shaped into what it will become. The soil is important because it holds the roots that provide support and store nutrients. And just as water is the life-blood of all living things, this is equally important to the plant. Without the proper amount of water it is impossible for the plant to grow and develop successfully. Now, if I were to draw upon a synonym (hence, symbology) and liken my life to a plant that needs the pot, the soil, and the water. I can see clearly how these three components are crucial to my overall development and have been in the past.

The pot, the soil, and the water.

The pot is a container. This container for me is representative of the communities that I have been fortunate enough,
or rather,
unfortunate enough to be molded by.
Unfortunately these containers were by far, NO PLACE IDEAL
to nurture and foster the growth and development of a healthy individual.
But fortunately,
these pots have taught me some of the greatest lessons that I have sustained,
and helped me navigate through this minefield of a maze that I call a chapter in life.....
The lessons on what NOT to do.

The pot, the soil, and the water.

The soil represents my relationships. Relationships have been the soil in which I've grown intellectually and psychologically. I've had soil around me of poor quality which has only served to stunt my growth. But on the other hand....
I've been in the midst of a lot of good sand which has helped me grow stronger and more mature as a man.
Thus, I'm a firm believer that there can be NO REAL GROWTH,
intellectually, psychologically or otherwise without good relationships. Bad relationships are poisonous soil.

The pot, the soil, and the water.

The water represents my flexibility. Just as the plant cannot survive without water,
I know that it is impossible for me to grow and continue to strive without being flexible.
The water represents my persistence.
Just as the plant cannot grow without a persistent flow of water,
I know that it is my long term persistence to my goals that will play out and prevail in the end.
For me,
slow and steady always wins the race.

The pot, the soil, and the water.

My community.
My relationships and my persistence.
These are the three jewels which nurture my overall development. Peace....

"The Two-Faced Baztard"

Came onto thiz earth without no mama OR no daddy
Even Jesus waz birthed,
So somebody had to have me.
My two mutha fucking Granniez...
THAT'Z who brought me up,
everyday'z been a struggle...
trying to make it'z hella tuff.
Introduce me to trouble,
Give my life a second look and..I done started a gang, now
I'm too old to get a whooping.
Ain't nobody to mold me
So I'm free to roam the streetz...
Time to go for the gold,
expoze my freedom az a G.
Parentz never played a part..call it obsolete..
But to me,
they were just two other niggaz on the street..can't you see?
Ain't no heart,
so ain't never been no love..
and I carry a grudge,
inside my mind you'll see a thug.
Smoking bud,
getting loced-out,
nigga going broke now..
I gasta' get paid...
so I commence to put the smoke out.
Ruzh to grab the strap and..
I continue blasting,
Back track a niggaz past and..
you can recognize the actionz...
of a....TWO-FACED BASTARD!!!!!

Man, it'z funny how the game unfoldz..

I received a phone call thiz morning from Mrs. Luarie Stevens at Home Hospice and Health. She was just checking in to see how the wifey and I had been dealing with the grieving process.
Truth of the matter iz...my dad waz never a part of my life in way of what's expected as a parent.Our relationship waz shaped around incremental momentz attained in TRAFFIC. When the cutz became my official stomping grounds, our pathz seldom crozzed. Why? I waz chasin' paper...he waz chasin' another hit. He would seldom come cop from me because ( laying aside the internal emotional strain of buying dope from your son ) he knew that he couldn't " get over " fucking with me. If anything, I'd just give him some dope. I'm like, why would I sell you dope, dawg , you're my dad? And so, all of the in between time waz spent communicating with one another through the system. Either I waz locked up or he waz locked up. Or....on a few occasionz; we both were locked up...together...in the same cell.
But back to Mrs. Stevens, along with about 98% of everyone else who knew the reality of the situation...just couldn't fathom how, or most importantly, why, I'd take on the burden of a man who has " never " been what he waz suppose to be in my life, ...why would I take on a dying cancer patient? Here you have on the one hand, a guy who iz 34 yrs. old, just finished serving 8 yrs. flat in the Federal Prison System, hasn't even been free a yearz time span...living in the projects ( well, the Midland , Texas version of projects, ) struggling all around the board, taking into his life a dying drug addict with not even a second thought. WHO KNEW?
So...I can't give you an answer to the question of " how am I dealing with it all? " Or..why did I even subject myself to it in the first place? Sure, I had every right to say: FUCK NO! FOR 34YRZ I NEEDED YOU AND YOU NEVER EVEN MADE AN EFFORT TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE, NOW YOU'RE DYING AND YOU..." NEED ME ? " FUCK NO !
But ya know what? There came a point somewhere in my life that I came to the realization that: ACCEPTANCE BREEDS UNDERSTANDING ! And of course understanding iz the highest level of love attained between two or more in a relationship.
And... with that being said I MUST flip the script and pose the question: WHERE IZ THE LOVE FOR ME IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME?
So, whenever you get through, tell me, how can you say you love Da' Peta'Loc and therefore understand him when...it waz all love and all good when I waz feeding an entire community of addictionz, going back and forth to prison, leading everybody who fucked with me on a day to day basis on a one way trip to hell of some sort; basically:...but when I switched the game up ( but not the name up ) all the love and understanding has suddenly gone out the door. I'm CONFUSED AS FUCK RIGHT NOW!
Beyond a shadow of a doubt, if I were to walk back up on the block with a pocket fulla' halfz and wholez...the question of me getting your money isn't even a factor. Now all of a sudden it becomez: " damn, where can I stash all thiz loot in such a way as not to appear suspicious? " But now, thiz same dude comez to you selling " music.....something from the heart" and all of a sudden itz a problem!
Like I said....MAN, ITZ FUNNY HOW THE GAME UNFOLDZ.

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